Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Privacy

Normally my feeling is that if you share something on the internet, that you can't get mad when someone else finds it. However, this only applies when those people find it themselves. I just had a friend tell me that someone came up to him and asked if he knew who I was. When he said yes, this person then asked if he knew that I was bisexual. First, this statement in itself is wrong, as I now identify myself as pansexual, but when I first came out I identified as bi, so I'll excuse that. However, just because I am out, does not give you liberty to start outing me to everyone that knows who I am. This friend did not know, but it wasn't because I didn't want him to know, it's just that I haven't told every one of my friends individually. If this had been someone that I wasn't coming out to for fear of some kind of violence or bullying, this would be a completely different story. Because of this, I am not actively seeking this person out, but if I do happen to find out who it was, my relationship with this person will not be the same. I know that this person most likely won't read this, but if you do, try to understand the position that I am in. I'm sure there are certain things that you wouldn't like me telling random people about you, even though they are semi-factual.
I know that I am probably doing exactly what this person wants in having some sort of negative reaction, but I don't care. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who talk about others behind their back in a negative manner. And apparently this person thinks that my non-hetero sexual orientation is a negative thing. Assuming that they read my previous post or my original coming out post, they misunderstood my feelings toward my sexuality. I'm not hurt by my sexuality, I'm more hurt by the fact that someone who I formerly considered a friend thought it was okay to betray my privacy like this. I guess that's what our society has come to, however. Trying to hurt people by spreading gossip behind their back, regardless of their veracity. We now live in a culture where tabloids, which were previously regarded as utter nonsense, now have their own TV show, a la TMZ. Sure sometimes they actually spout some real news, but why is it important? Can't we all live our lives in a manner that we don't care about other people's personal lives? Why should we care who is taking what drugs or who is attracted to whom? If somebody wants to share this information, by all means let them. Don't take it upon yourself to report it to everyone else though. Let them do the work and take the personal approach to make sure that whatever information is spread is correct. Not only are you potentially hurting the person, but in the process you are making yourself look bad.

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