Since first coming out as bi/pansexual in October, I haven't really been too open about my sexuality, but I think I might change that. It really makes me angry when people on both sides of the spectrum, heterosexual and homosexual alike, dismiss those of us that don't fit into either of these two categories. So many people say that it's just a phase, that we are just undecided and will eventually choose a side. Or that we are just confused about our sexuality. Quite the contrary is true for myself. Finally coming to terms with my bi/pansexuality has cleared up any confusion about my sexuality I've had in the past. I have found myself attracted to guys for at least the last 5 years, but I was trying to push that away to try to be "normal."
A couple of things catalyzed this post as well as me being more open in general. The first is my anger at the climate towards members of the LGBT community as a whole in this country. The second is learning that Snooki has come out as bisexual. The final catalyst was talking with a friend about this topic.
It seems like we can't go more than a week without there being some anti-LGBT statement being made by public figures. I normally don't get offended by jokes, but this is beyond jokes. This is politicians that might become president basically saying that we are not real people. This is how the person actually feels. This country has a history of trying to find some minority to blame for everything and to deny rights. Unfortunately I'm a member of 3 separate minorities (atheist, bisexual, and Mexican-American) that are the focus of the public right now. I want to be open and hopefully inspire other people that may be closeted still to join me in being open, to prove these people wrong. To show them that we do exist and that we are "normal" members of society that just happen to have a different sexual orientation.
It almost always makes me happy to see celebrities come out because it restores some of my faith in humanity. It reminds me that I'm not the only one that has had to deal with the problems of trying to understand their sexuality. The most recent of these was Todd Glass. I listened to him on WTF with Marc Maron and the entire time I was nodding because I knew almost exactly what he was dealing with. His explanation of why he finally decided to come out as gay was that he wanted to try to reduce the probability of bullying, that hopefully kids will not see being gay as something wrong. However, people like Snooki coming out doesn't help fellow bisexuals. She only reinforces the stereotype some people have of the bisexual community just wanting to hook up with anything with a pulse.
I discussed this point with a friend who was one of the first people I came out to, and decided that if more bisexual celebrities in monogamous relationships came out, it might help eliminate this stereotype. I decided to look for a list of bisexual celebrities and what I found surprised me. People on the list included Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Billie Joe Armstrong, Sammy Davis Jr., Kurt Cobain, Abraham Lincoln, and many more. Why is it that people like this aren't public representations of the bisexual community? For the most part they are or were mostly monogamous with their partner, and most people wouldn't be able to identify them as bisexual if it weren't for their own comments. The one quote that stood out the most to me was from Billie Joe Armstrong (lead singer of Green Day), who said, “I think I’ve always been bisexual… I mean, it’s something that I’ve always been interested in. I think everybody kind of fantasizes about the same sex. I think people are born bisexual, and it’s just that our parents and society kind of veer us off into this feeling of Oh, I can’t. They say it’s taboo. It’s ingrained in our heads that it’s bad, when it’s not bad at all. It’s a very beautiful thing.”
This really made me think. What if this is actually true? What if we all are actually bisexual, even if it is just a small portion of our sexuality? What if our culture is forcing people to be something they are not, just because it it says in some book written a thousand years ago that having sex with the same sex is morally wrong? (This is of course the same book that says that slavery is fine, people can't wear clothing made of two different fabrics, etc.) Regardless of whether or not this is actually true, I know that I was born bi/pansexual, that it isn't a choice, it isn't some weird phase, and for perhaps the first time in my life, I am proud to admit it, and I don't care what other people think of me.